What You Need To Do Before Your Next Relationship

Happy two year anniversary to my blog! My goal for this next year is to stay on top of creating content, and because I don’t write unless I really feel urged to write, and only feel urged when i’m connected, that means staying on top of my spiritual practice even during school 😀


“You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.”

“You can’t be in a relationship until you love yourself.”

You know, there really seems like no more useless advice when you’re in the throes of single girl (or guy) loneliness.  But is this advice true?

Yes… Sort of, but it doesn’t really encompass the whole truth.

I believe you are only capable of giving the amount  of love to someone else that you are able to give yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll pick apart your flaws, and you will do that to the person you’re with as well. So for this reason, YES you do need to love yourself before you can love someone else.

But where the problem with this statement comes in is that just ‘loving ourselves’ is too general. What the heck does that even mean? And also, we should love ourselves at all times, but that doesn’t mean we should stop growing ourselves spiritually, physically, and mentally.

INSTEAD, better advice is this:


As JoLynne Valerie says, “Work on becoming a Queen.” What does this Queen energy mean? “Queen” energy doesn’t gossip about others, isn’t a negative Nancy, isn’t busy picking apart her flaws and others.  Queen energy is about learning as much as you can to increase your knowledge, working on the low-level behaviors you have and turning them into high-energy behaviors, and treating yourself with the utmost respect and love.

Another thing to think about –

Imagine your dream man or woman. Now imagine all the qualities and traits this person would ideally embody.  Now look at yourself… Are you embodying these qualities as well?  In order to attract the romantic partner of your dreams, you have to work on being everything that you respect about others.  If you want a patient, kind, open-minded partner, work on being those things yourself.  Wonderful, kind-hearted people are attracted to others who share these same qualities. So make sure you work on yourself first! 😀

AND for all those who say “I just attract assholes”

(And yes, i’m guilty of saying this myself).  Are you doing anything that an ‘asshole’ might be attracted to? Maybe not, but it’s a valid question for many of us.  Are YOU an asshole at times? OR are you possibly guilty of self-sabotage? Self-sabotagers seem to attract these relationships.

LASTLY – Focus on Yourself. None of this works if it’s all solely in the name of finding love. Love is a side effect of treating yourself like a Queen.  The Universe rewards those who make an effort to better themselves, and bettering ourselves further allows us to create synchronicity in our lives. And synchronistic moments are perhaps some of the coolest moments you can have, so i’m in for anything that increases those 😀

So ladies and gents, there you have it. We have a lot of work on our hands, so let’s get started! This is an exciting journey that i’ll also be taking for myself, so you are definitely not alone! ❤

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