Relationships… When (He/She) Is Just Not That Into You

Oh, Bachelor {In “Paradise,”} you never cease to amuse me.

If you’re watching this train wreck of a show, then you have seen the multitude of delusional, desperate women: Elise and Ashlee topping my personal list just in the first two episodes. Sorry.

GRAHAM BUNN, MICHELLE KUJAWA, BEN SCOTT, LACY FADDOUL, ASHLEE FRAZIER, DANIELLA MCBRIDE, MARQUEL MARTIN, SARAH HERRON, MARCUS GRODD, DYLAN PETITT, ELISE MOSCA, CLARE CRAWLEY, ROBERT GRAHAM

While begging a man (or woman) to love you is never a cute look, it’s something tons of us do. Subconsciously, even.  We continue talking to and hanging out with people we know are not right for us, or have forced ourselves to believe are “the one” even when the other person clearly doesn’t reciprocate those feelings.

Why do we do this to ourselves?! Why are we so desperate for love that we make excuses for someone not talking to us or making an effort.  Why do we excuse the behavior we must know deep down means that the other person is not interested?

I read a book a few weeks ago called The Four Agreements by Miguel Angel Ruiz.  This book is about attaining personal freedom simply by promising ourselves to follow four agreements.  My favorite section was Agreement #2: Don’t Take Anything Personally.

Oh, and I love to take things personally.  (But i’m werrrrkin’ on it, I promise.)

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In this section was one of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard. I mean it. It really, really hit home for me.

If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.”

BAM.

And another…

Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.

It’s a lot like the movie He’s Just Not That Into You.  If someone is treating you like you don’t exist, it’s because they don’t care.  They aren’t playing games… and if they are, why are you wasting your time anyway?

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Trust me, I know it’s easier to say than to put into action. Up until a few months ago, I put up with the same things everyone does.  I made excuses for people and ignored my gut feeling that told me something was wrong.

In the past few months i’ve done what I haven’t been able to do before: let people walk away without fighting them on it, and i’ve walked away when I knew something wasn’t right.

Did it hurt? Yeah, a little bit. And only for a little while.  But to be completely honest? It’s empowering. It hurts so much less when YOU are in control of how you will accept to be treated. It actually feels pretty damn good.

So the next time you start “talking to someone,” listen to your gut.  Your gut will tell you what your mind doesn’t want you to hear.  Be honest with yourself.  Lying to yourself about the inevitable truth will only end up with you feeling defeated and confused.

Remember, you’re a sparkly lil unicorn that deserves to be treated as such. Don’t settle for mediocre, because T.I. wouldn’t either.

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Keep your heart open and listen to your gut. You are smarter and more intuitive than you know. 🙂 ❤

Lots of love,
Katie

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