If there’s one thing I learned in 2013, it is that being single is one of the greatest gifts the Universe can ever give to us. In fact – even though sometimes I may moan and groan when I see couples being super lovey-dovey in public – i’m just joking around… because honestly, I do love being single. Don’t get me wrong – relationships are incredible and so amazing (if it’s the right time and the ‘right’ person), but in this stage in my life, I love being single. Truly. Deeply. Madly. In love with being single.
I believe that we are given relationships – the good ones, the great ones, and the awful ones – are here to serve us and teach us a lesson. If you look back on your previous relationships, i’m sure there is a ‘theme’… a lesson that you learned from each person you were in a relationship with. If you’re still in a relationship with them, there’s still probably a theme going on… maybe it’s teaching you patience, compassion, honesty, or responsibility. If you’ve broken up with them, maybe it’s taught you some of those same things, plus prepared you better for your future and what you want with the next person you date.
This Valentines Day was different for me than in the past when I may have been pouting or upset I didn’t have the romantic day everyone else seemed to be having. This Valentines Day, I was unbelievably grateful and so at peace. The reason? I took the day to do what I wanted. I didn’t have to ‘report back’ to anyone, didn’t have to worry about someone else, didn’t have to plan an elaborate date, didn’t even have to get out of my PJs if I didn’t want to. To me, freedom is the most incredible thing. Freedom to do, say, and be what you want is what makes life worth living. So on this Valentines Day, I appreciated and was grateful for the fact that I could be entirely free. That’s something that’s not very common.
The other feeling that was pretty overwhelming this Valentines Day was a really serene feeling of peace and also of hope. Peace because I could look at other people’s instagram posts, facebook updates, and twitter feeds filled with love for their significant other and not feel jealousy. Not even a little bit. Peace because I could lay in bed alone and read, watch, and listen to whatever I wanted. Peace because the silence of just being alone is strangely comforting for me. Peace because the silence wraps me up like a big hug from the Universe and fills me with so much gratitude.
As I was laying in the silence last night, surrounded by candles and a heap of cough drops (because I was sick on Valentines Day!), I was filled with hope. Hope and peace that somewhere out there, someone fantastic is living their life, not knowing that I even exist yet. Neither of us know it, but one day we’ll meet each other and fall in love and learn, grow, and explore together. To me, that is the most incredible thing to realize; That there are many more men out there who will come into and out of my life, and I don’t have to push and try to make things happen. When the time is right, I know the Universe will deliver me to the people and places that I need. In the meantime? I’ll sit by and wait patiently and enjoy single-hood 🙂
On a side note, there’s some important things i’ve learned about love. Even though i’m only 20 and i’m sure I have a million more things to learn, these are some ‘love lessons’ that have really impacted me. I know these are true for a lot of teenage relationships 🙂
1. No Other Person Can Complete You!
No relationship is going to make your problems go away. No relationship is going to make life perfect. No relationship is going to make you stop disliking yourself, disliking your family, or disliking your life. While some of these issues are things that your partner can support and love you through, these issues must ultimately be faced by you and you alone. No one else can make you feel complete other than yourself ❤ And that is a BEAUTIFUL thing, not a bad thing!
2. Check Your Reasoning For Entering A Relationship.
No relationship will ever work out if you are entering it looking for the other person to fill your voids and make you happy. Although i’ve learned this the hard way, you have to enter a relationship with the idea that you are already complete and this other person is simply a wonderful supplement to your already wonderful life. You’ve also got to realize that you don’t enter a relationship to make YOURSELF happy … you have to enter one when you realize that making the OTHER person happy is what also makes you happy.
3. Don’t Spend Every Second Together.
This is what will ruin things too quickly. Keep your friends, your social life, your extracurriculars… and keep them separate at times. Too much too soon, or too much all the time can lead to that smothering, “SOS” feeling I know a lot of people get once they are in relationships. Be a “happiness supplement” in each other’s lives, and that is enough 😀
I hope if you’re single that you spend today and every day appreciating all the wonderful things about being free, independent, and untamed. I always say that if YOU don’t enjoy your own company, how can you expect anyone else to?! I can safely say I am my own best friend – I can easily entertain myself alone, I love spending time doing things I am passionate about, and I love the freedom of being independent and carefree. You’re always technically in a relationship – just for the single ladies, you’re in a relationship with yourself right now 😉 In time, you will find someone who loves you, cares about you, and wants the best for you. Until then, don’t stress! Enjoy life and let everything come to you organically.
If you’re still feeling a little left-out, go buy yourself the most gorgeous roses you’ve ever seen and a box of Godiva. I mean really – how can you feel sad when you’re eating the best chocolate on earth? 🙂
Lots of love,