“WHAT? I thought being compassionate and kind and loving is the bomb? SELFISH?”
Yep. This one word carries a lot of negative connotations, but today I want to give it a positive one. In fact, let’s call it being “lovingly selfish.”
What does that mean?
Being lovingly selfish means putting your needs first. Let’s clarify: being lovingly selfish has nothing to do with a “MINE, MINE, MINE” or take, take, take attitude. It’s all about loving yourself enough to put your needs where they should be: at the top of your list. For example, i’m selfish with my time because each day I give myself 30-60 minutes of total “me” time. During that time, i’m being totally lovingly selfish. It’s my time to forget about other people for a moment and tune in with myself.
A beautifully unselfish thing happens when you practice this. By being lovingly selfish towards yourself at times, you become able to be more lovingly unselfish in other areas of life.
To sum it up, by being selfish, you can be more selfless in other areas of life. For example, without having my “me time,” it’s highly unlikely i’d have the energy and happiness level required for me personally to feel super compassionate and loving towards others. When I am selfish with my time, I become less stressed, happier, and more grounded. From there i’m better able to serve others, more motivated to help out, and in a much better mood… therefore, my selfishness lends itself to being selfless.
Next time you feel that “superwoman syndrome” coming on (“I can do EVERYTHING and save EVERYONE all at the SAME TIME!”), take a breather. If you want to help the world, help yourself first. Create a beautiful version of you that can go out in the world confidently and give to others happily without robbing yourself of precious energy. Giving and being selfless is supposed to be energizing, uplifting, and bliss-making. The moment that helping, giving, and providing for others feels like a burden or annoyance, check in. Are you being too selfless? Maybe it’s time for a change. 🙂
Lots of love,