This has been a pretty tough week for me. Not only in my friendships, relationship, and the new school year – but also with my connection to myself, to the love around and within me, and to the person I want to be.
Instead of getting discouraged and feeling as if everything in the world was starting to crumble, I hit my knees and I prayed. I asked the Universe for some guidance, strength, and wisdom. I stated my willingness to learn the lessons I was receiving in these particularly tough situations. What came from that prayer was a loving realization that when things get tough, we’re never alone. We’ve got ourselves if no one else, and we’ve got our connection to a higher power (whatever that may be). When things get hard we don’t throw in the towel and quit, we open ourselves up, get extremely vulnerable, and learn what we need to learn.
If you’re ending a relationship, struggling with a friend, battling your inner critic, or feeling overwhelmed by life… This is your guide.
1. Feel It to Heal It
Heart break, disappointment, sadness, and/or anger are all uncomfortable emotions, but that doesn’t make them “bad”. Instead of trying to eat, sleep, or drink through the pain – sit and listen. Get real with yourself about how you’re feeling, because if you don’t feel it now, it’ll come up in some very strange ways later (trust me, I can attest to that!)
My favorite exercise for “feelin it” is to set a timer for five minutes and sit there with all the emotion. I focus solely on what is going on inside – if my heart hurts, I feel it. If i’m boiling with anger, I feel it. You’ll be pretty surprised how fast emotions can pass through you when you stop trying to block them from flowing. If you want to cry, let all the tears out you possibly can. If you feel disappointed, let yourself feel the deepest disappointment you can. And then I guarantee you the emotion will start to lessen and lessen. In fact, in just 90 seconds an emotion can pass through you.
If you’re a soul sister (read: spiritual or religious or a believer in anything at all), hit your knees and pray. Ask for the willingness to see the lesson, ask for a miracle, ask for guidance and strength. Bonus points if you talk and share your true feelings with your higher power.
If that sounds like a bunch of crap, connect with someone you really care about. Vent it out. Make sure this is someone you love and trust, so you can feel totally comfortable opening up. Don’t hold back!
3. Heal Your Connection Within
If you’ve just ended a relationship or friendship, chances are you had less time to put forth effort in your relationship with yourself. Now is the time to reconnect within!
My favorite way to do this is to do all the things that make me feel connected and wonderful. Maybe that’s taking a yoga class or painting outside. Whatever it is, do it… and do it A LOT. Spend tons of time doing things that purely make you happy and filled with passion. Some of my favorite things: yoga, meditation, journaling, reading inspiring books, blogging, cooking/baking healthy things, juicing/blending, spending time by the water or in the woods, being with animals 🙂
Whatever it is you love, do more of it! Now’s the time!
4. Baby Yourself
When you’re going through a hard time, it’s easy to get down on yourself and on others. This is where I call in the magical step of babying yourself. How would you take care of someone you love? Do that for yourself.
Babying does not mean doing nothing. It means giving the best of everything to yourself. Food and lifestyle has a huge impact on your mood swings and natural emotional state (happy or sad). Do your best to give yourself an advantage by supplying your body with the nutrients it needs (green smoothies/juices, salads, hearty homemade vegan meals), sleeping well (going to bed around 10-11pm), and taking extra care of your skin, nails, and hair. These little things can make a world of difference when you’re feeling down in the dumps. It may be the last thing you want to do, but it’s a major step to healing!
5. Get Out There
After you’ve given yourself time to feel your emotions, heal, and take care of yourself, you’re ready to go out into the world with some new lessons learned. Yay you 🙂 Keep up the self care and passion projects while you’re still getting back on your two happy feet.
At this point you can brew a cup of tea, light some candles, and get out your journal. In the journal, reflect on the situation and all the positive things you learned from it. Seeing the situation with love and positivity should be a little easier and more authentic now. Take your time and do this when you’re ready. It’s also a major step towards moving on and moving forward.
What are your favorite tips for healing after a difficult time? I would love to hear! Leave it in the comments.
Wanna talk about life? Hardships? Successes? Email me at : KatieGhealthcoach@gmail.com . I can’t wait to hear from you!